As a first time mom with a fussy child, I was seriously struggling to adjust to new motherhood and I was having a hard time figuring out how to keep my baby happy. I had always considered myself to be good with kids but I had little experience with babies. In addition, I initially felt like I was on my own for a good part of this journey. My husband returned to work after taking just one week off and our parents, who visited and were extremely helpful while they were with us, lived about 1,000 miles away. I cried when my mom had to return home even though I knew that I’d be ok. What was I supposed to do with this baby that seemed to cry all the time? We tried going for walks in our stroller. She hated it. We tried getting in the car and going for a drive. She screamed the whole way. She was only happy when swaddled and carried close, and she would only sleep if she was laying on top of me or by my side. I really loved holding her all the time and was willing to do anything I could to make her happy, so I just carried her in my arms most of the day. It was exhausting (and I developed deQuervain’s Tendonitis)! But still, much better than dealing with a screaming baby.
When my daughter was about 7 weeks old, a couple of my best friends, who also live very far away, visited. One brought along her son who was almost a year older than my daughter. When my more experienced mama friend saw what I was up against, she said “have you tried a baby carrier yet?” I had not and I was sure that she was too small for one, but she wasn’t. So the next day we tried our Moby wrap and a few days after that we tried our Beco Gemini (two carriers that I had received as baby shower gifts, thank you, thank you). You can probably guess what happened… She loved it! She was no longer a fussy baby when in the wrap (if all other needs were met). I could suddenly leave my house without fearing that my daughter would have a meltdown in public and I wouldn’t be able to regain control of her. And, though somewhat limited, I suddenly had the use of my arms again! It was liberating really.THIS was why I started babywearing. Initially it was just a tool– another necessary baby device that she’d outgrow at some point. But, it turns out that there is so much more to babywearing than I could have ever imagined!
A couple of months went by of happily wearing my daughter in our Moby and Gemini and then I saw that a friend’s facebook profile picture was of her wearing her son in a woven wrap ON HER BACK! How did she do that? And what was that beautiful fabric that was holding him? I sent her a message asking these questions and she suggested that I join the local babywearing group on facebook. That was the first time that I had ever heard of a “group” on facebook. I joined and immediately met several like minded local mothers who were very understanding of my position. They became my postpartum support group of sorts—something that I had not even realized that I needed. Through this group I learned how to properly use a variety of baby carriers, but more importantly, I made new mama friends, went on play dates, learned about family friendly events in town, found other parenting groups online, and learned of other tips and tricks for just about every type of baby related issue from breastfeeding, to diapers, to baby shoes! You see, I think I was having a really hard time transitioning into motherhood. Feeling completely on my own, I was not performing at my best as a mom until I found this group. It may have been postpartum depression or maybe just a slow transition into motherhood. But things started looking up once I found the support that I so desperately needed and everyone was happier.
THIS was why I got hooked on baby wearing. As a friend once said, and is now common language in the babywearing community, “I found my tribe.”